A bright new morning, a bright new day...

Today I am starting the diet again. Some of you probably could care less, but I figured if I posted it in public, maybe the accountability factor will help keep me in line--but your prayers are even more important! Last night Luke prayed for me at family prayer and I figure that is why I am so positive about it this morning. I haven't been positive about it for over this week that I have "taken off." That is what I puzzle over in so many areas of my life; for a while it will be so evident that God's grace is just carrying me, no or little effort to do the right, keeping the right eternal perspective....then there are the battle times, wanting to do right and having to literally "duke" it out with the flesh, the world, and the devil, and running to Jesus every second it seems, and His giving the strength to "press on," and then there are the times I just plain feel tired, apathetic, and I hate to admit it, but not even desiring to please the One who died for me, and failing miserably, and even crying out seems not to change a thing....I know it is all in God's plan, but I certainly prefer being carried! I'm sure it has to do with my laziness, too. And learning and re-learning dependence on Him and that it is not about ME, it is about HIM! Anyway, I covet your prayers for a walk that would honor HIM for His Name's Sake!

I had an epiphany of sorts the other day. I am an ADDICT. I obviously am a food addict, but I have begun to realize that I have an addictive personality in other ways. When I first thought about being a food addict (more is never enough), I thought at least it isn't drugs or alcohol (so quick to think of someone perceived to be "worse" than me to salve my seared conscience)--but it could really be those, too, if given the opportunity. I just plain am never satisfied. I always want more--goodies, compliments, vacations, books, time for "ME," love, praise, whatever. I crave personal pleasure, escape, acceptance. Did you say I looked good? I replay that over and over and wish you or someone else would say it again. What a sicko! To be happy and satisfied in my loving LORD, to be thankful ALWAYS, to live to please HIM and not me--oh, the very thought, may it drive me ever onward to live for Jesus. I don't want to suffer, but oh, if when I do, I could do it in a way that lifts Him up and conforms me more to HIS image. Romans 7:14 on, about doing the things I don't want to do and not doing what I should...Praise God that His mercy is new every morning; there is always HOPE to carry on, and to be carried. May my heart's cry be to live for JESUS and not for me!
I am thankful for new beginnings. I pray that this week will be a God-honoring one for all of us.

A word from THE Wise

It is truly amazing how the LORD, with all the billions of people He keeps track of, still orchestrates each of our lives, speaking to us in individual ways, sending us "notes" through His Word and the words of others as well as circumstances, and lets us know of His infinite love and caring. Here are verses very pertinent in the lives of me and those around me and which He has caused to come to my attention several times in several ways the last days:

""But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed--always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. . . . For all (NOT some!) things are for your sakes, that grace, having spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God. Therefore, we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment (although it does not FEEL like it!), is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things that are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal." ---II Corinthians 4:7-11, 15-18

Praise forever to the ONE who knows all things, plans all things, forgives all things! He gives us strength to carry on when all the world around is crashing on us! May these words of life infuse themselves into our very being that we may be the life of Jesus to those around us in a dying and suffering world!

Once again, life is "too short," but God is sovereign

I was going to get on here and whine and plead with you all to pray for me because I am falling off the diet wagon; I have lost my "edge," and I don't care any more (however, after seeing the back end picture on my daughter Anna's blog, and I thought I was starting to look good??? To lose 20 pounds and still be BIG is depressing...but I did it to myself!) Anyway, these whining and murmuring complaints far pale in the light of the news we received late yesterday.
Our dearest friend Emmett Wilson, a mere 66 years old, died Monday. I am literally in a state of shock. He had heart surgery on February 10. We knew it would be a long (6 months) recovery and we were all prepared to support him and Barbara, his lovely, gracious wife with cards and visits and calls and gifts; now he is gone from this world. And yes, he is not suffering, but he is "rejoicing forevermore," but here, humanly, we suffer horribly. You had to know this precious couple to understand. What a unique and role model marriage. They were best friends, comrades, lovers, ministers to others, wonderful parents and grandparents. They are literally family to Tim and me and the kids. The kids have always called them Uncle and Aunt. They were the first people to babysit our first daughter, Faith, at 6 months. They put together a photo album of the evening and gave it to us. They are that kind of people, always going the extra mile to minister and create joy for others. When we rejoiced, we knew they really rejoiced and felt our joy, too. When we suffered, they were there and we knew they felt it, too. No fluff here, no fakeness. I could never ever adequately express how much they mean and have meant to us through the years of our 22 year-old-marriage.
Tim worked with Barbara and Emmett at Delaware Tech. They took us on our first real vacation to Emmett's mom's (Miss Beaulah) in Clay, WV. What a wonderful time we had in that tiny town with the best of friends and family. It was the year of the summer olympics when Mary Lou Retton won the gold in gymnastics. Tim and I (mostly Tim--we have what we have because God gave him the gift of money management) (my family says I would give everything away) were extremely tight and had never been away aside from honeymoon and the Wilsons taught us to appreciate travel and relaxation and being with people you love, doing simple things like fording a creek ("Go on, Junior," --Miss Beaulah, 76 years young) in a compact car, ginsenging, and eating squirrel shot by Emmett's mom, and roller skating in the town's roller rink opened especially and only for us that night! We also learned to appreciate the travel itself, stopping around 2 in the afternoon to spend a night at a hotel, and really relax and enjoy, instead of driving all day or night for expediency and being exhausted and not ENJOYING THE JOURNEY! How many of us forget to enjoy the journey in the rush to get to the NEXT thing?
In addition to Clay, we went several times to one of our favorite places, Lancaster, PA, with them. One time we just rode the back roads there with them, and each time we came to a turn one of the four would say "right" or "left" and off we would go; we had so much fun just being with them. They truly loved and appreciated us, invested time in us, made us feel special. The amazing thing is they made everyone feel that way--family and friends. The true gift of encouragement. The true gift of service to others. They always made us feel welcome if we just stopped by, like WE were blessing THEM! They have always been there for us. We also went to many southern Gospel concerts with them, one of Emmett's true loves. They were there for the children's births, baptisms, homeschooling, graduations, jobs (visiting at Chick-fil-A with their grandchildren--who they took on separate "dates" )... what beautiful examples of true love for all.... I wish I could express it--I want everyone to know how special this couple are and how much the world will be hurt by not having Emmett here. I have rarely met anyone who cares about others the way Barbara and Emmett always have. And their love for one another was a beauty and inspiration to behold; good natured kidding, and loving friendship and admiration!
I am having trouble believing he is gone; it is the feeling I had when my father died suddenly: He will always be here. He can't be gone. In fact, I said to Tim when he told me, "NO. UH-UH. That can't be true." Please, please pray for our dear friend and sister Barbara. I cannot begin to imagine her pain. Her soulmate is gone. Oh my, I just cannot fathom it. If I hurt this much....oh, Jesus, be her comfort. You are the God and Father of all compassion and comfort.
Truly, this was a man of men. There are not enough good and wonderful things to say about Emmett Wilson. What a privilege to have known him. Tim has often said here is a man he (Tim) would do ANYTHING, any time, for, a true person of his word, a man who lived what he believed, a man who served his God and His people, not content to just sit and do nothing, but always looking for ways to serve others. I know my husband is hurting; this was his first true male friend, brother. May God be very real to us and especially to Emmett's precious and extended family!
Thank you for letting me get some of this out. It is so good to be able to reflect and share. May God be gracious to you today and lift you up and draw you close.

AT THE LIBRARY

I am at the Wicomico Library and I have 8 minutes remaining on this wonderfully FAST computer. So if I get cut off in the middle of my post, I guess I wll have to start over at home on the ole slow computer. WAH. But anyway, that is not why I am writing! I am writing...why am I writing? Well, I dislike when you all don't update your blogs, so I guess I think I better update mine, even if I have absolutely nothing to say. HA. I have something to say, however, but I am having trouble getting to the point (in case you haven't noticed already). First, I want to thank God for the library. I just love the library; not necessarily OUR library, I just love libraries, probably because I LOVE books! Is there anything cooler than a book? Not too many things, anyway. Curling up in a favorite chair or couch or bed with a fantastic book, relaxing, disappearing into the story or the interesting information or superb pictures....oh my! Definitely one of my favorite things! Thank you, Jesus, for that simple pleasure!

I also want to thank Him for the beautiful snow; I would have liked more, but it was not the plan of the Master Creator, and He does know best. But it was still soooooooo crazy gorgeous to look at, and truly, always reminds me of the Bible verse about washing us whiter than snow! Snow really does make the ugly and ordinary beautiful and pure-looking, and Christ does that for us! Thank you again, Jesus! Am I being sappy? I hope not; I want to be THANKFUL, not sappy. I struggle to look at the positive a lot of the time, and I know it does not honor my Lord. I want to look at His gifts and the every day stuff I just take for granted.

While I am at it, I just have to be thankful for the gifts of family and friends (again!!). I am just so blessed. Yesterday was so cool having everybody home for a change and Jared and Linnea too and the McMahans in the morning before they left for GA. I love having people come to my house, which I hope feels like a home. I get a fulfilled feeling having people around; what is that? I don't know; I just like it. So come on over, ya'll, but make yourself at home; I guess I am not the most thoughtful hostess sometimes; I forget to ask you if you want a drink or something to eat...and it may not always be the neatest (in fact, it probably won't be neat :>) at all), (at least I hope the bathrooms aren't stinky! I hate when my bathrooms are stinky!) (mortification). But I want you to feel welcome and loved!

My time has been extended, hurray! Luke is probably rolling his eyes inside his head if not on the outside; I told him I was not going on the computer and we were going soon after we chose our books. He knows better by now, I guess. I can't resist the speed of these computers! I went on here originally to look up the next book in a series I have been reading. I am really enjoying the Elizabeth Peters' Amelia Peabody mystery (in Egypt) series. They are fun. There are about 17 books and it is best to read them in order; you can go online to find the order.

Last paragraph...I had a terrific time at the Valentine's (sort of) dinner with the McMahans, Taylors, and so on the other night. It is so good to have some fun with people of your own age. Yes, there IS fun after 40! HA HA! We laugh so much and share family stories and old memories and discuss life and the world and it is just great! Thank you for that fun time, and one last thanks--for my absolutely THE BEST husband in the world. He puts up with A LOT with me! But we have some fun, too! :>) Gotta go for real--until another blog! The LORD bless all of you and keep you.....!!

PRESS ON!

I know, I know, it's about time I updated this blog. I REALLY have wanted to for the past week, but every time I got around to it, someone was on the computer, and by the time he or she was done, I was busy with something else OR asleep in my bed! Anyway, first some verses of Scripture for a Monday morning after several days of especially hard wrestling with the flesh, the world, and the devil and not succeeding as much as I would like:

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, BUT I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me....one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I PRESS ON toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14.

Yes, it has been a time of great struggle to please the LORD. Praise to His everlasting, ever-loving, always-patient Name above all names for forgiving me and helping me GET UP and go on. The devil is the only one who wants us to stay down. Jesus stands there, our loving brother and parent, holding out open arms and hands, and as we cry out to Him, He lifts us up, and says, "Get up, my child, I love you." The devil, the weasly accuser, says, "Stay down, you wicked, unbelieving wretch! Messed up again, of course. You no-good, slimey piece of trash, He won't forgive you; you've failed again; why try?" Praise God! There is hope! JESUS, Savior, lover of my soul, has done it all FOR me! Thanks be to Him and praise forevermore. May He make Himself real to you today!

I need to apologize to my long-suffering family and husband. I have been snappy when I wanted deep inside to be kind and caring; I have been selfish when I should have been serving; I have been whiny when I should have been thankful. I have failed you and my Lord. God help me grow in the grace of Jesus AND demonstrate this to you all!!! Thanks to the Lord for being faithful even when I am not!

I have been carried on this diet exercise program for 31 days. An unbelievable miracle. I have fought yesterday and today to continue, however. I feel it is not worth it, not making enough difference (all lies--it IS working, well, and better than I expected--it's just like Tim says, "You didn't put it on in a couple weeks; it's going to take a long time to get it off!") I want instant results. Ah well. Discipline has always been a weak point for me; ask my children. I am one who hates confrontation; I like EASE. Life is not like that. Grow up! Anyway, thanks to those who have been praying for me! I would like to enlist you for a while longer. I am unable to do this without God's mercy. I am so thankful for His strength so far. I really do feel healthier. And, I do like being able to fit in a pair of pants I haven't been able to for a long time--even though THEY used to be my "fat" pants. (I guess I have been wearing my "FATTEST" pants :>) Ah well. PRESS ON!

What else? I must end on some positives. I love weddings! Peter and Emily's was great, and I can't wait until Hannah and Pat's. My daughters and son are the joys of my life, and my husband is a true gift of God. My mother is quite easy to care for; she is always thankful for the littlest thing I do for her; she doesn't wander (physically unable) and is generally not crabby. I know it could be much worse. Some of you have experienced it. We have a wonderful house, warm on cold days, and able to hold people when they grace us to visit. I have such special friends; it is amazing the number of fantastic, loving, supportive people God has placed in my life, to be adopted family to us. I am the most blessed of women!

I hope all of you have a great day, a great week. I also hope I can get on here and update a bit more frequently, but at least my first fear of wasting too much time on here hasn't come true! HA HA. Talk to you all later!