A bright new morning, a bright new day...

Today I am starting the diet again. Some of you probably could care less, but I figured if I posted it in public, maybe the accountability factor will help keep me in line--but your prayers are even more important! Last night Luke prayed for me at family prayer and I figure that is why I am so positive about it this morning. I haven't been positive about it for over this week that I have "taken off." That is what I puzzle over in so many areas of my life; for a while it will be so evident that God's grace is just carrying me, no or little effort to do the right, keeping the right eternal perspective....then there are the battle times, wanting to do right and having to literally "duke" it out with the flesh, the world, and the devil, and running to Jesus every second it seems, and His giving the strength to "press on," and then there are the times I just plain feel tired, apathetic, and I hate to admit it, but not even desiring to please the One who died for me, and failing miserably, and even crying out seems not to change a thing....I know it is all in God's plan, but I certainly prefer being carried! I'm sure it has to do with my laziness, too. And learning and re-learning dependence on Him and that it is not about ME, it is about HIM! Anyway, I covet your prayers for a walk that would honor HIM for His Name's Sake!

I had an epiphany of sorts the other day. I am an ADDICT. I obviously am a food addict, but I have begun to realize that I have an addictive personality in other ways. When I first thought about being a food addict (more is never enough), I thought at least it isn't drugs or alcohol (so quick to think of someone perceived to be "worse" than me to salve my seared conscience)--but it could really be those, too, if given the opportunity. I just plain am never satisfied. I always want more--goodies, compliments, vacations, books, time for "ME," love, praise, whatever. I crave personal pleasure, escape, acceptance. Did you say I looked good? I replay that over and over and wish you or someone else would say it again. What a sicko! To be happy and satisfied in my loving LORD, to be thankful ALWAYS, to live to please HIM and not me--oh, the very thought, may it drive me ever onward to live for Jesus. I don't want to suffer, but oh, if when I do, I could do it in a way that lifts Him up and conforms me more to HIS image. Romans 7:14 on, about doing the things I don't want to do and not doing what I should...Praise God that His mercy is new every morning; there is always HOPE to carry on, and to be carried. May my heart's cry be to live for JESUS and not for me!
I am thankful for new beginnings. I pray that this week will be a God-honoring one for all of us.